Were You Invited To This Party?

When was your last Road to Damascus moment?  You know.  You’re plodding along.  Okay plodding along doesn’t sound right.  More like lopping along.  Okay that doesn’t sound right either. I’m sure most of us would like to think we live our lives on a more deliberate plane than plodding or lopping so let’s just say you’re living your life, minding your own business when seemingly out of the blue, the bottom drops out.  Really?  Is that allowed?   You ponder.  Is this what Saul felt when he was knocked off his horse, blinded for three days, and then wakes up a new person with a new mission and a new name.  Paul?  The S is changed to a P and now he is going to be called Paul for ever and ever.  

Once we’re over the initial shock that we’re facing an issue we hadn’t planned on, now what?  Can we recognize that an unplanned obstacle is a possible gift or would we prefer to sit around contemplating how long the misery is going to last?  After all, hadn’t we set down our plans, mapped out our route and dotted all our i’s and crossed all our t’s?  The big picture was very clear.  All we had to do was the work. That was until you know what came and took the wind out of our sails and we were forced to do some serious shifting not only in our thinking but in our behavior going forward. 

We question:  are we supposed to be learning something from an unplanned experience?  What happens if we step aside and allow what’s below the surface to be presented to us?  Could we accept the fact that a detour could hold something better that we can’t see now?  Is it even possible this might be a sign that someone who has a better idea in mind for us is jumping in and taking over for a bit while we relinquish some of our death grip on everything we do.  It happens.  We moan and groan when we are thwarted only to realize that, through that lovely thing called hindsight, the detour was pretty good, even better, dare I say it, then our own plans. 

Of course, then there is always the fork in the road.  

🌹

Marian

Does Enough Pain Cause Us to Change?

There’s a saying that when the pain of staying the same becomes worse than the pain involved in changing, we will change.  But when it comes to our soul’s life how long are we willing to suffer before we cry uncle? Which is more important to us?  Our ability to tolerate the pain so we don’t have to change or our willingness to work to change in order to alleviate the pain and live from a higher level of consciousness?  Will we cling to the old and familiar because, while we might still be miserable, we know what we’re used to.

Taking a leap of faith into the unknown can be scary.  So can staying the same because growth doesn’t occur within the status quo.  It happens when we make the conscious decision to “break the chains that bind us.”  

Committing to pushing through to the point of changing means we have to let go of the death grip we have on our connection to staying the same and not allow it to stop us in our tracks whether we have been dealing with a challenge for a long time or it seems to have been thrust upon us seemingly unannounced.  When we give our power away we are powerless. Give ourselves power and we are empowered.

In the movie “We bought a Zoo” one of the actors said “20 seconds of embracing courage and I promise you something good will come from it.”  

Marian

Quote:  The question is not “what if I die tomorrow?”  It is, “what if I live another 20-30 years the way I am?”  (Kim Wolnski)

Captain or Victim?

“You’re not the captain of your ship if you’re a victims (Dennis Praeger). But are we really victims or do we just think we are?  And if we subscribe to either notion how do we become victims?  Do we allow it or do we cause it?  Can we proclaim that we’re blameless and it’s all the fault of others, all those who supposedly held us back, didn’t open doors for us and/or did all they could to convince us we should abandon our dreams because, even though they would never admit it, the idea of our being successful makes them very uncomfortable about themselves?

So, if we find ourselves in victim mode regardless of how we got there is it easier to stay there and tolerate the pain that inevitably comes or is it easier to push forward knowing we might have to give ourselves a kick in the tush to stay motivated so we don’t keep falling back into the trap that got us off track to begin with.  

Pushing forward also means not refusing to look at options because they will upset the applecart which sustains our victimhood.  If it becomes apparent we’re not in the right place, move. If we’re not with the right person, find someone else.  If we’re listening to people who are driving us nuts, find another group.

If we want to be victims, we will; if not, we won’t.  In the roles we play in life, victimhood should never be one of them.  Playing the victim means we have purposely decided to give our power away to someone or something both of which land us emotionally trapped in feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.  None of these are spaces we want to occupy – ever.

Marian

Quote:  Regret for things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.  (Sydney J. Harris)

YOU’VE GOT IT. ALWAYS HAVE.

You do too have what it takes.  But you already know that. Right?  You haven’t convinced yourself otherwise have you?  And you haven’t let others convince you otherwise either have you because when you get to the bottom line, when push comes to shove, the fact that you do have what it takes is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God.

Sometimes we have a tendency to let others talk us out of living our dreams because we believe they know what they’re talking about when they say we can’t manifest them.  How others know this is a mystery as no one can see the big picture until it’s complete. Giving others the power to derail us is allowing the misuse of power. The real role of others is to stand in our corner and cheer us on.

Of course, we can also sabotage ourselves when we operate from that part of us that gives into frustration, discouragement and impatience and then translate that into “I can’t do this, why did I ever think I could.”  Well, the reason we thought we could is because we can. Nothing has changed except our attitude and if we let it slip into the negative by our thoughts we can just as easily use our thoughts to move us back to where we were when the desire began.  Wanting to, to begin with, was the first clue.

So let’s stop listening to the voices of doom, gloom and “forget it already.”  We’re not supposed to forget it or give in but we are supposed to remember how we felt when that inner voice nudged us and said “you might want to consider doing (fill in the blank).  Know who you are. Surrender any and all forms of denial and work strictly from a place of knowingness.

Marian

February 11, 2013

Quote:  Keep saying “yes” to what you really want, and smile at everything that may arise to prevent you accepting it.  

Starting Over Or Continuing What We Started?

How many times have we told ourselves that we’re starting over?  And how many times have we made this declaration and got to work only to discover that what we’re starting over with looks very much like what we left behind.  Or thought we left behind? Could it be we keep doing similar things because we’re not supposed to stop doing what we started because of frustration, discouragement and perceived closed doors?  Is it possible all this starting over is just going to lead us back to where we were?

I’m starting a new blog with this first postings knowing full well it’s a continuation of what I was doing earlier but stopped because unseen forces entered my life and caused an interruption.  But interruption is not the same as full stop. Interruption means we learn to do the same thing a different way. Or perhaps with different people. Or in different places. I was full steam ahead with my former blog when the bottom dropped and as I sat staring at a screen of written words wondering how I was going to get them posted, a good friend comes along and informs me that she’s going to teach me how to do this myself (yes, I am not that computer savvy but am getting better, hence the saying you’re never too old to learn).

But then, what about those things we purposely shove out of our lives only to have them resurrect, seemingly out of the blue, because that original desire was lurking below the surface waiting for the right time to poke us.  This happened to me when I landed on the sidewalks of NYC wanting to be involved in the performing arts world of music. A few years after making some menial attempts of making this work, I abandoned it all for a life of survival.  I worked in an office, I married, had a child, divorced 27 years later only to then have that old music and writing urge pop back up. That was 40 years later. It was like it never left but this time it came back in a different form but it was still music and it was still writing.  How does that happen? Basically it happens because when you have a dream it never goes away no matter what happens in the ensuing years. It’s gonna come back and look you straight in the face and say “I’m baaaaaaack. Of course, I never really left. You just pretended I did.”

And so life goes on.  We stop doing things, then we start doing them again realizing the obvious - that it is the same stuff.  Are we amazed it works this way? Probably. Should we be? No. It’s how just the Universe, who knows our true desires, works in our lives.    

So, today and in this place, I begin again a new blog because it’s want I want to do.  I love writing whether it’s blogs, songs, affirmations, books, plays, emails, notes, letters.  It is all the same to me. I realized during that lull how much I missed writing and it only took some people nudging me forward again and extending a helping hand.  They were my answer and that, too, is how the Universe works. Then sometimes the Universe sends us a surprise fixing that bottom and we can pick up where we left off.  In this case, I haven’t had to learn the steps I didn’t know before which allows me the time to still write while learning.  

In closing, it might seem that this was about letting you know I am going to be writing again.  But it was also a message to you to inform you that tossing your dreams aside and acting as if they mean nothing to you because things became difficult is not going to be an excuse you’re going to be allowed to use.  Hey, if I can fess up to my meanderings, you can too and when you’re finished arguing with yourself and convincing yourself that I’m wrong, you can finally get back to what is calling your name. You’ll recognize it when it comes.  It’s the same one you heard before but this time it just might be louder. Yeah, the Universe works that way too.  

  

How Big is My Dream?

Do we decide whether to pursue something based on how big or how small it is to us?  If it’s big and requires a lot of time and effort will we talk ourselves out of. If it’s small will we abandon it thinking it’s not worth pursuing?  Why bother if it’s not going to mean that much in the long run.

We can come up with more excuses that, pardon the phrase, Carters has liver pills.  But there is no big or small. It’s all important. However, we can run and hide and tell ourselves and everyone else who will listen that we aren’t going to pursue something because it’s not meant to be, we don’t really want it that much or someone else already did it, is doing it or will be pretty soon.  And that’s partially true. If we wait long enough someone else will be doing it, perhaps not in the same way as we would but some form it of will still get done.

When we cheat ourselves out of living our dreams we also cheat the world because no matter what it is we were going to do, no one else can do it the way we would have.  No one will sing a song and reach an audience in the same way, no one will design a building exactly as we would have, no one else can interact with others the way we could, the music will not be written, the business will not be started, the healer will not reach out.  The list is endless. If we’re not doing it then it doesn’t get done. Simple as that. if we don’t do what our hearts tug at us to do then it’s lost and will not get done – ever.

The questions is can we find the inner strength residing within to provide the impetus we need that says “no matter, I accept and embrace this as mine to do.”  It is no small feat to say yes to things but it is no small feat to say no either. Things tug at us because they are calling to be fulfilled and we are the catalyst that is being used for that purpose.  We are “the chosen ones.”  

Marian

Quote:  No moving picture of life is made up of only one player or one event.  My part on the stage is important, for without me the cosmic drama would be incomplete.  (Paramahansa Yogananda)

Making Mountains out of Molehills

How good are we at making mountains out of molehills? We start out with a tiny issue and before you know it we have made it so insurmountable we think our world is coming to an end. Dwelling on the issue we spend more and more time trying to figure out, not only how we got into this ditch, but how we’re going to get out of it. 

Now comes in the saying “what you resist, persists.” It not only expands our issue it is affecting how we feel. Our lives become topsy turvey and not much else matters. It seems that our lives are becoming smaller. 

We know this isn’t want we want. We are smarter than this. Our mommas didn’t raise no dummies. But we’re feeling like one and we might even be acting like one. We pray no one is noticing our newly developed madness. 

So the question is – can we stop the mental rumblings long enough to come to the realization we were never facing a mountain to begin with. We just decided to purposely focus on that mountain long enough to make it one. Can we relax and hopefully have a bit of a laugh as we observe our behavior from a different perspective? Perhaps we can even promise ourselves that, in the future, we’re going to be clearer about what’s really going on in our lives and place things where they really belong. 

Marian 


Quote: The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind. (William James